An Australian “sexuality educator” has created a heated debate among online users for suggesting that parents ask a baby for permission before changing their diapers.

Deanne Carson argues that a “culture of consent” needs to start at birth, sparking curiosity and confusion from the online community, with one netizen asking if it’s also necessary to get “consent from your cat to change its litter tray.”

In a world where parenting techniques are evolving faster than ever, the topic of consent is making its way into unexpected areas, including diaper changes.

Asking a baby for consent before a changing a dirty nappy might sound impractical, mostly because newborns and infants lack the verbal skills to reply.

But Deanne Carson argues that it’s less about receiving a formal answer and more about setting the foundation for consent and respectful boundaries as early as possible.

According to Carson – who describes herself as a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author” on Twitter – a culture of consent needs to start at birth.

She explains the idea is to emphasize respect for the child’s body and autonomy. By narrating actions – like “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” – and pausing to read body language, parents can introduce infants to the concept of personal agency.

Building trust and communication

The self-proclaimed expert argues that this practice isn’t meant to wait for a verbal “yes” but to encourage a two-way communication path between parent and child.

Of course, a baby is not going to respond, ‘yes mum, that is awesome, I’d love to have my nappy changed,” Carson said in an interview with Australia’s ABC network. “But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact then you are letting that child know that their response matters.”

Pediatricians and early childhood experts often emphasize the value of responding to a baby’s non-verbal cues, like coos, giggles, or movements, as part of healthy communication. Incorporating consent into diaper changes aligns with this by making babies aware, on some level, of what is happening and involving them in the process.

‘Left lunacy’

But not everyone sees this approach as practical or necessary, and critics argue that infants are far too young to understand the concept of consent.

Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia said the idea of asking a baby’s permission to change their nappy is “lefty lunacy.”

And John Rosemond – a psychologist, columnist and parenting expert – writes that Carson wins the title of “the Weird and Even Weirder for the Most Bizarre Idea of All Time.”

“Once upon a time, and not all that long ago, a person who proposed that parents should ask infants for consent to change their diapers would be regarded by everyone except herself as deranged,” Rosemond writes in the Reno Gazette Journal. “In this paradoxical fashion, Carson’s ‘culture of consent’ becomes instead a family culture of confusion, mistrust, denial and all-around dysfunction.”

Online, Carson’s remarks set off a firestorm of conversations, with many on social media mocking her ideas and criticizing her credentials.

“Pretty sure when a baby is crying due to the discomfort of a full diaper…that’s consent. In fact, I would go further and call it a demand,” writes one online user.