{"id":417,"date":"2026-04-18T16:06:48","date_gmt":"2026-04-18T16:06:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/?p=417"},"modified":"2026-04-18T16:06:48","modified_gmt":"2026-04-18T16:06:48","slug":"an-elderly-couple-bert-and-edna-are-sitting-on-the-porch-swing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/?p=417","title":{"rendered":"An elderly couple, Bert and Edna, are sitting on the porch swing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"514\" height=\"640\" data-id=\"418\" src=\"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_6996.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-418\" srcset=\"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_6996.jpeg 514w, https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_6996-241x300.jpeg 241w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 514px) 100vw, 514px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>On a peaceful Sunday evening, Bert and Edna, married for 55 years, enjoy lukewarm tea on their porch. Out of the blue, Edna suggests they talk about their bucket lists. Bert responds with humor, claiming at 87, his only goal is to remember where he left his pants. But he surprises Edna by admitting he\u2019s always dreamed of skydiving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Edna is shocked, pointing out Bert faints just from tying his shoes. Bert, unfazed, jokes that if he falls, he\u2019ll haunt the neighbor. Edna agrees to pursue her bucket list too\u2014but first, she confesses a decades-old secret that stuns Bert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She admits to sabotaging his recliner with a spatula after he ruined her favorite curtains back in 1989. She also rigged the TV remote to always switch to Hallmark movies as a quiet act of revenge. Bert bursts out laughing, clearly impressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He then reveals a secret of his own: his supposed \u201cfishing trips\u201d were actually secret bowling competitions. Not only that, he won four trophies, which he had hidden behind the water heater. The two share a laugh, forgive each other, and decide to embrace life more boldly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Edna buys Bert a new recliner. He finally goes skydiving. Together, they begin bowling every Saturday, finding renewed joy and connection in their later years. Their playful confessions only deepen their bond, leading to new shared adventures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Years later, at 85, the couple tragically dies in a car crash and finds themselves at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter welcomes them to a paradise of gourmet food, golf, and indulgence\u2014all without consequences. Upon learning he can eat anything without gaining weight, Bert erupts, blaming Edna\u2019s health-conscious ways: \u201cWe could\u2019ve been here years ago if not for your bran muffins!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On a peaceful Sunday evening, Bert and Edna, married for 55 years, enjoy lukewarm tea on their porch. Out of the blue, Edna suggests they talk about&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/417","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=417"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/417\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":419,"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/417\/revisions\/419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerimatonews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}